3 Months in Paris.
November 1, 2019
4am. I awoke today, All Saint’s Day, to voices singing, a choir belting out Amazing Grace, their sounds carried by the wind from the church down the street. I’m living in Eastern Paris, near La Place d’Edith Piaf, à la “Campagne à Paris”.
It has been a week since I've returned from San Francisco, a place I lived for 27 years. I realize this is now my home and California is a place of the past. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision that led me here, although I believe deep in my soul that it was meant to be long ago.
Sadie (Pooey), my 10 year old GoldenDoodle is here with me, she's adjusting too. She loves the food, and any ailment she had while living in SF is gone. If it were not for her, I would feel completely lost at times; every day I am grateful she’s here to ground me.
New challenges await daily, as my University and tourist French become more localized, as I make a complete fool out of myself, ego put aside, every day.
So as I speak of the trials and tribulations of my days, leasing an apartment, trying to get a “permanent” (vs tourist) cell phone, heading out to Bobigny to pick up an Amazon package (all of this for an ink cartridge?), getting a Navigo card, the list goes on, I also know I’m in my flow.
Despite the challenges, I feel like I’m living in a dream. Here’s what I’ve noticed so far….
Do NOT forget to say “Bonjour”.
Bonjour. The opening of the conversation, the commencement of the dialogue. As an American, it is easy to walk up to a counter just start conversing… “I’ll have a cappuccino please”. But in France, NEVER, EVER miss your opening line. “Bonjour. Je voudrais un cappuccino s'il vous plaît.” If you forget this magic little word, things can go sideways quickly. Get yourself into the flow of being in France with this one little utterance. (PS - Be sure to pronounce “Bonjour” correctly!)
Le Marché
Le marché happens twice per week in my quarter of the city. You will find these expansive produce markets everywhere throughout Paris; they are the Parisian way to shop. Food is always fresh, in season and without the middle-man’s markup. You really only need to buy the few things you need because the market happens twice a week, rain or shine! As a result of this, my level of food waste has gone to zero; the accessibility and proximity of really fresh produce here is real, you buy what you eat and return in a few days! Also, it is fun to experiment in the kitchen using the harvest available. Today I’m making a fabulous Moroccan Tagine for which I’m using all of the veggies I bought Saturday. (DM me for the recipe.)
Le Déjeuner
The most important meal of the day in France. No, this is not dinner (le dîner), it is more like a long lunch, a principal meal of the day. It lasts from 12h -> 14H daily and the French do NOT miss this meal. If you are going to have your neighbors over, invite them for le déjeuner - you never have to worry they will not be eating at this time. It may not quite take 2 hours to actually eat, so some of this time might be spent taking a cat nap, walking the dog, or just relaxing.
Once le déjeuner finishes it is back to work for a long haul (often until 7:30pm - sometime earlier, often later). Then, if one eats in the evening, it might be an apéro (an apéritif with appetizers), but nothing super heavy is regularly consumed at night in France.
The French also do not eat in-between meals (no sifting through the cupboards), and they eat sitting down (no more do I take my coffee and croissants on the go). Overall, eating is a ritual here in France that is sacred. As a yogini, I am more than OK with this; I feel LUCKY to finally actually stop for and sit down to (often my own) home-cooked, locally prepared meals and to be properly nourished. Bon appétit everyone!
Le Travail
OK - whoever says French people do not work very hard does not know many French people. One of the first things I observed when I moved here in August was one of my neighbors up late every night working on his computer. And almost every person with whom I have spoken seems to actually like and be proud of their work. From Government Officials, Business Owners, Corporate Executives, Fashion Executives and Creatives, these people work hard. Long hours are popular, and people are motivated. In fact, if I did not have a career I loved too, I might be envious.
The French seem to spend time when the are young finding and doing what they like, and then carry on with it in their careers. My observation is a sense of pride around one’s work here in France. Also, there are very clear work/play boundaries! On ne travail pas le dimanche = we do not work on Sundays. Even the entrepreneurs I have met leave time for family and friends on Sundays. Since I have lived in France I have been adopting these ways; except for the occasional client call to Tel Aviv, and those times I am needed to to teach Yoga, I too try to take Sunday as a day of rest, a day to go outside, see friends, call family and relax.
Les Chiens (Dogs)
I’m a little disappointed in the dog situation here, especially coming from California. “What was I to expect?”, you may ask. Well, at least I would think that the parks would allow dogs. And some do. But that is the key word. Some. Not all. And many around the area where I live have beautiful, green lawns on which my dog wants to run and play however unfortunately no dogs are allowed. I have tried the “oh, I did not know this was not allowed” phrase a few times too many and now the park police “know” me. Also, the restaurants are not too friendly either. Some are fine, but bottom line, where I live, it has been a bit difficult with a large dog. Come January I am going to move to an area in Paris or nearby as my dog needs a place to run and swim. Otherwise, she is more than healthy. So everyone please send me some “good vibes” for quickly finding a place near open space - Sadie cannot wait!!
Il faut patienter.
OK - I cannot even count the number of times I have heard this phrase (or similar) since I arrived here. The irony is that it plays into my biggest weakness. Patience. And having a lot of it is necessary here in Paris. Every day.
In English we use the word as an adjective ie: he is patient. But the French have made patient into an action verb “to wait” (patienter). In other words “Je patiente”.
As I write this I’m currently waiting for my Orange phone to be able to make outgoing calls (moved it from a tourist → local mobile account over 5 days ago), waiting for Chronopost (French UPS) to re-open after a 2 week fall break, and preparing to go to immigration and enter the waiting period for my formal work visa. I have been practicing patience in the dating arena as well (but this is a bit more fun ;). In love, one does have to be patient. At least that is easy here in the “City of Love”.
I’ve always wanted everything done at once. Fast. Because I am someone who likes things to happen NOW. However, here in France many things are quite the opposite, I am currently being forced to re-set, reconsider, re-decide.How is this working?
Ask me in a year… ;)
Parlez-vous francais?
Lesson in humiliation number one = everyone feels this way too. Yes - I have to tell myself this because otherwise I would quit. Living in France would be much harder if I had zero knowledge of the language, but since I am not yet perfectly fluent I must use what I know. Unfortunately, that means messing up over and over again. It is like learning a dance, an art. Each day I add another few words to my vocabulary, and each day another grammar rule sinks in. But this journey is long, and hard, and there are so many times I have much more to say but cannot find the words. Or I order one thing from the local baker and get another because I pronounced a word incorrectly. Or I might say something in French to the lady at a store and she might respond in English. Regardless, I have to keep going.
Immigrants - I now have a newfound sympathy for what you go through when you come to America not knowing English. And Americans can be much harsher if you do not speak English. In fact, I have a few girlfriends who have gone through this in the USA (shout out to Inna and Jennifer) - I now understand what you experienced.
So - each day I wake up, pick myself up from the previous day’s embarrassments and get ready to have another conversation. In French.
And I say to myself “Bon Courage”.
Le Vélo et le Métro
Paris is an incredibly well-planned city. I never feel like I need to not do something because I cannot get there. This city is flat, for the most part, and biking is an incredibly fun way to get around. Over the past several years they have installed specific “bike” lanes all over the city, and often biking can be the fastest way to get from point A to point B. Now that I have left San Francisco, my bike is being sent here (let us see how long I can go without it getting stolen - lock recommendations anyone?). For the time I have been using the city bike service, Velib, which is awesome if you get a “good” bike (they are very popular and there are often broken bikes only available for use). There are stations all over the city; best to get an account through your desktop or laptop first, then download the app and you are good to go.
If you do not feel like biking, and walking is too far, Le Metro (and the RER trains) rock too! They run frequently, on time, and some run all night long. Unless there is a planned strike (yes these happen from time to time), you can count on the Metro and RER to get you there, usually earlier than the estimated time on your mobile phone directions. Of all the large cities I have visited, the Paris by far has, in my opinion, one of the best Mass Transportation systems in the world. Lastly, if you plan on living or staying in Paris for the long-haul, be sure to get a Navigo Pass. You can obtain one of these once you have a residence and a French Bank account (will write more about handling these logistics another time).
Happy riding!
Tinder + Mobile dating
Ahhhh - online mobile app dating. Something I wanted to avoid, but to which I have now succumbed. Since I’m looking for someone with whom to share my life, I reactivated my Tinder account in Paris “to have a look around”. As a newcomer I feel like “Alice in Wonderland”. Going into the virtual world of online dating in a language I can speak but in which I am not quite fluent (yet) is wondrous, intimidating, incredibly adventurous and...fun!? I often pinch myself and ask, “is this a dream? Was I dreaming?” because it often feels this way. I’ve been in Paris exactly 3 months today, and have met some incredible people online.
Overall the men are nice, polite, flirty. The best thing about this experience is, even if there is not a “love match”, this is Paris and France and there is always conversation, flirtation, a place to see and often wonderful drink or food. This is the beauty of being in a new city, speaking a different language. With this experience also comes fear I have every time I receive a phone call, or meet up with someone. “Am I going to be able to understand them?” “Will they understand me?” - my desire to connect forces me to get over myself, put fear and ego to the side, just relax and deal with it. This is still a “hot spot” for me, as my heart is racing just writing about it. With this presence of mind nothing is boring.
Honestly, I do not want to be running the online dating wheel forever, however for the time it is helping me get over a number of fears. Stay tuned.
C’est la journée.
This could not be more true, and is so obvious. Where are we really trying to get anyways? We cannot take “it” with us in the end, so what is the rush? Enjoy the journey!
The French use the word journée in the everyday phrase “bonne journée” (have a nice day) so I’m constantly hearing this word. And if you think about it, each day is like a mini journey of its own, with whatever it brings. When I start to get “in my head” or stressed, I remind myself that it is all about the journey, not moving too fast, staying in the flow.
Living the journey far away from home and loved ones can be especially frightening; so much of it becomes about TRUST. I imagine there is fog ahead, I am driving, I cannot see but know it will be OK, more than OK. Cuddling my dog I take another inhale + exhale, let it be and enjoy the ride.